2010年2月26日星期五

停电的晚上(他让我很低落〕

昨天,停电了。。。那时的我还没冲凉。在四周黑暗的情况下,我只好去冲凉。我真的很害怕~我多希望有人能在外面陪我。里面虽然有蜡烛,但却无法给我一丝的安慰。我的恐惧,是无法形容。我很想告诉他,“停电了,我很怕,可以陪我多一下吗?”我却没这勇气,因为他说了“我们之间还有什么好说的”我已经没在他世界里出现了。为什么他要这样对我??

他说我H,我只是告诉我姐妹,也不行吗?!我比较喜欢坦白的,憋在心里没人懂的,而且可能会产生误会。。。到最后,我真的很痛,悲的是我要笑着面对一切。。。心病还需心药医?!我不知道我该如何面对他。他冷冷的表情,我的心。。。告诉我“不要再出现在他眼前了!放手吧~他不会把我当朋友了,不要再等了。。。你的等待,换不到他的一句问好,他的拥抱的~不要再为他掉眼泪了;不要爱他了;不要为他再付出些什么了”

我们真的。。。要撇清关系吗?但不要连累他们可以吗?他们没错的,错的是我!!让我一个人承担就好了~我一个人辛苦,总好过连累其他人。。。我已痛麻了,没知觉了。。。割到,一滴一滴的血流下来,再痛我已没资格哭了;没资格向他人诉说了;也失去了做朋友的资格。。。

从开始到现在,我始终是一个人。一个人面对这一切。。。我不再相信其他人了,他们都骗人的。。。包括他,她,他们,她们。。。为什么?!我不明白。。。让时间,冲淡这一切吗?!时间是最好的方法?!

昨天停电,感到不好意思的是,扬生病他也陪我~有点感动。。。昨天,就他陪我渡过那黑暗得让我恐惧的晚上。。。至少有一丝丝的安慰。。。谢谢你哦,扬~之前有人告诉我,你要转校。我真的很吓到,觉得怎么可能啦。你再怎样,都会跟我们说一声吧?!不要不告而别啦,虽然认识不是很久,但有点不舍啦。。。毕竟也有半年了嘛~还有希望你早日康复哦^^
嗯,扬上次你不是问我,如果你真的转校了,我有什么想对你说吗?其实,我真的不知道该说些什么。也许只有泪水,想紧紧的抱紧你-希望你能留下来吧。。。嗯,想对你说“虽然你人不是很好也不会很坏,对朋友·女生不会很差,但你是我朋友。你来到我的世界,让我的世界更精彩。让我的回忆·记忆里,有了你这个朋友的点缀。谢谢你让我那么高兴,让我那么的放纵。你的关心,我很珍惜。。。”

2010年2月20日星期六

20、02、2010

从31/01/2010,他跟我说分手的那一刻,我知道他不再属于我的。我们...始终还是会分开。我真的失去他了!!这次是真的~但我从来不会怪他。一切应该在那一天就结束了~那天的我们,替我们之间的感情画上了句号...
失去他的那一刻,我很想挽留。但也许已没用了,对吧??我们不能像以前了。。。我很怀念以前,很想念以前。。。我爱他,你相信吗?我的心,还属于他。。。我,还很傻地等。。。即使现在的他,改变了很多,有多不好,我还爱他。。。即使他对我有多么地差,我也觉得无所谓。。。很笨很傻很白痴吧?!哈哈哈哈哈。。。因为...他始终是我最爱的他。
就让时间,冲淡我对他的感觉吧~看到他开心幸福的笑容,我觉得满足了。。。只要他是幸福快乐的,什么都好。。。

2010年2月14日星期日

我要在学业上专心点

14日2月2010年 情人节 星期日
也许...我哥说得没错~这年龄,谈恋爱或许太早了,或许我们没有这个能力...可能我们的思想还不算成熟吧~说我们是成人又不是;说我们是小孩又不适合...唉...*sign*
我觉得...我好像没这个能力,自己处理好自己的事情.我对未来,充满了恐惧和压力...我的内心...不停地在逃避现在的问题...我很害怕面对...为什么要在这瞬间发生这些事??为什么...要在这瞬间夺走属于我的东西?!我想...我想离开这里,行吗?我不想待在这里...我的心...很痛很痛,很伤很伤...这世界,不能简单些吗?为什么总要把简单变复杂化呢?!
我不敢相信眼前这一切...太...太...难以置信了~我哥,会支持我吧...我相信我哥...因为,他是我哥~我不会让他失望了

一秒也好...我的等待,是不会有结果的


我关上了门
最后一次听你说我们...
熟悉变陌生把我往记忆里扔
我应该习惯你离去的眼神
才能让失去你变的更完整

窗外的街灯
还在努力掩饰着早晨
我的叹息成全了整夜的苦闷
我该努力习惯这样的气氛
才发现失去了爱不用再等

我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来你只是那么难预料
早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只好让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好


清晨的街灯
唤开了城市中的心门
我的等待成全了整夜的苦闷
我努力在你的回忆里狂奔
才了解失去了爱不用再等

我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来爱你是那么难预料
早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只能让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好

多想再一次紧紧的拥抱
就算给我一秒也好
一秒可以给多少我都想要

我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来爱你是那么难预料
早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只好让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好
让回忆继续反复炫耀
原来失去对彼此都不好

2010年2月13日星期六

Excited^^

13/02/2010

Today,Oliver sent me a message.He ask me that whether can help him top up RM10 or nt...That time,I'm at home so I said that i can't help...But I know that's the is only way i can sms with him.
Did I'm so fool?He treat me like this,I also can't treat him cruel...I just don't make situation become more worse than before...I just want him to know,if all people didn't care,me-as his friend will always care him and beside him when he needs anyone beside him...I know what he happen before,I still get abit worry about him...But i think he won't treat me as friend anymore...I didn't hope anything,just want to see him happy,that's ok~
I will just only see him from the angle that he won't see me;hear his voice from far away;I won't let him see me if he's not happy when see me...Now,he still very improtant for me...I can't control myself,just can't stop thinking about him~I hope I can do anything for him now...I know it can't like before,we can't be like before...Just because he didn't love me anymore,nothing will happen on us now...I just love to be beside him no matter what happen!I hope I can help him abit...I'm so appreciate the time we together...4months no so long,but he just makes me so love him...makes me can't forget what we had done before,it just so sweet for me...I really love him deeply~Why I just can be with a guy that I love,for a long time or forever??
Oliver,you're still the one who is so important in my heart~Will i forget u after 1month?or 2months,3months,6months,1year?!Why you leave me when I love you deeply and hope can do more things for you?Maybe love is like that...It won't happen like you want...I just keep hurt myself again and again...Be a fool in love again and again...But I still believe got true love in this world~I will find it,right?Should I believe LOVE again?Should I??

The day that without him

I'm so dissapointed with him!!!When he will be like this??Why??I just can't undrstand~Does he really hate me?Do i do wrong anything??He said anything,i agree...Because I understand and I know...I don't want he will feel any sorry about me...I just want him to be my friend while we can be couple...
Now,I just can say...he's not who i know him before...He just suddenly change...I feel he just like a stranger...a one who just a tresurer of 4S7...someone who just pass through beside us...He got his gruop,so us too...but...i just can't understand why he will be like this??Did the guy makes him be like this?be a stranger in front of us?did the guy say anything??Who can tell me the truth?or maybe don't know anytning is the best way and the best treat for all of us?!
Know the more things,the more we think complicate~Maybe like my friend said so,the answer will come out...The time will let us know the truth at last,right?
Now,I don't want know anything about him...He's not the one that I know him before...Maybe we'r changing,we don't know...But how come he can change like that suddenly??Just 1 day,right?or 1 month?or he just keep changing and just we don't know...
Academic is become more harder and harder...It makes me no time to think about him anymore...I just want concentrate on me acdemic and do my best in my every exam...I don't want make my koh dissapoint on me anymore...I wanna prove that i can live better without him and do better than him...Everyday wil be a nice n happy without him also~I must do it!!!My friends and koh will support and give advise when I do somethings
GAMBATE...I also wanna THANKS who support me along the
way...I love my friends and koh...and also my daughter and all^^Mu@cx~